My Confession

Dear Emily,

I went to go visit James today. Eve is out of town at some conference in Sacramento for a week. I knew that James was probably lonely seeing as Eve and I are the only people that are really close to him - next to the vivid characters he creates in his poems and stories that is. We talked about life, about the world we live in, and more specifically, about the people in our world. He listened to me so attentively as I spoke to him about my passionate beliefs about the world. I told him about all the beauty I found and cherished in nature, and how I translate that beauty through my art. He seemed quite happy in seeing how much I felt alive when I was with him. I let him know how wonderful I felt being there - embracing that one, innocent moment in time and space when we we're together. The conversation then shifted as he pulled out his moleskine notebook full of a collection of poems and sketches. He read me a poem, a beautiful sonnet that brought me close to tears. I wanted to cry out. I wanted to grab him and kiss him; to proclaim my love for him. Only decency made me come to my senses. I was so emotional and so overwhelmed that I decided to read to him a poem that I had written the night before. Undoubtedly, I felt some pressure due to the fact that he was such a marvelous poet, but it's as if someone else entered my body and took charge of my soul. I read the poem to him (the one that I attached) and he too was almost brought to tears. I could see in his eyes that he secretly longed for what I so obviously desired. He was perplexed by my seemingly indirect, but nevertheless profound exclamation of emotion, and began to shut down. He told me that our relationship was becoming far too close, and that he loved and respected his soon to be wife, Eve. I was undoubtedly crushed, but felt somewhat content at having expressed myself to him in the most honest and pure way I could. I did not care about the words that had just come out of his mouth because I knew that his true feelings, his soul, could be seen through his eyes, and his eyes told me that he loved me.

- Anna

A Dream In the Night

Lost in confusion and total self bliss
I've found the relation between dream and wish
A dream is a fantasy lived only while asleep
But a wish has a compass vast, far and deep.
A dream can bring true the wish never thought
As your mind wanders aimlessly and feelings are sought.
But a wish is a simple, momentous undertaking
A grasping of things while still in the making.
Now my understanding of wish and of dreams
Have broadened my scope - or so it would seem
But still I'm confused and nothing is clear
Because you are a wish, yet a dream so dear.
With the breath of each day, I wish for your sight
Visions of loveliness turned to dreams in the night
You've become such a fantasy with realistic tones
I long for your love and time spent alone
Sadly enough my dreams cause confusion
For all their purpose are meager illusion
And though the dawn of each day may be cheerful to sight
I fear the darkness and my continuing fight.
For now its a war - a battle within
A dreadful nightmare which rationality must win
What should I do? Where shall I begin?
Should I ask for your love or remain a dear friend?
In my dreams you're my lover and my world is complete
But in life your a martyr to hope so elite
I've grown to know you and care with a passion
But fear lies within mutual attraction.
If I am to approach you with some indication
Would I strengthen our friendship or cause detonation?
This is the confusion, the struggle, the fight,
Until I am sure, you'll remain a dream in the night.